Blogging the Swoosh


Save money, cancel the admin's AmEx cards!

Nike spends a lot of money. A beautiful 175 acre campus, athletes with $90 million + contracts, multiple private jets, an ex-CEO with a ridiculous severance package. But in my opinion, the greatest waste of all is the money spent by corporate administrative assistants (secretary's for those of you who lived and worked in the good 'ol days).

I am amazed nearly every day by the amount of money wasted through spending by admin's. I don't doubt their value on a purely professional support level, but they spend company money like bitchy daughters of a rich daddy.

Here's one of my favorites: the site visit. This is where the admin(s) travel to the location of an upcoming meeting to see if it will work out. And we are not talking about the local conference center. These locations include Scottsdale, Las Vegas, Miami, Hawaii, New York, etc. Two or three days staying in the hotels, eating at the restaurants and meeting in the places that their bosses will during the next week. Because honestly, these hotels have not idea how to handle a corporate meeting without some know-it-all admin's telling them how to do it!

Another good one is the sample sale! This is where 3-4 admin's get together to sell sample/left over product. Now this is a 2 day event, and because they are working so hard they get every meal catered at company expense. What, you mean you don't get free breakfast and lunch when you work real hard? I thought everyone did?

The last example I'll share with you is the admin holiday/birthday/summer/whatever party. During this event, all the valuable admin's take an entire day away from their work and go have fun, again at company expense. I mean between the catered meals and trips to Miami, they get worn out and need a break. Pile all the girls in a limo and lets go out to lunch downtown! El Gaucho anyone? Then maybe a movie and finally a martini to cap off the day. A girl's gotta wind down somehow!

You probably noticed that I refer to these admin's as females. In my 5 years at Nike, I have not met a single male admin. I know it is traditionally a women's job, but this is 2006 and gender roles no longer exist, right? We are striving to have 50% of our employee's as females, and however many percent of employee's as minorities. I want 25% of our admin's to be men. Is that too much to ask?

Seriously folks, these admin's have it made. I just hope that when sales dip and profits fall, managers step up and see the waste that goes on with the little circles of admins. Take away the Blackberry's, cell phones, laptops, and comp days...give them to employee's that actually make Nike money.

*the comments in this blog do not reflect Nike's opinion or position in anyway. They are the sole thoughts of 1 individual. Please do not sue me.


  • Good stuff. You think working with the admins are bad, try supporting them.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:53 PM  

  • supporting admins? how the hell does that work?

    By Anonymous Brian, at 11:07 PM  

  • Keep it up SwooshBlogger! These admins you refer to must be in Sales/Marketing because I'm on the finance side and our admins don't do this stuff. And, if they are on the Sales/Markting side they are there because they are pretty and/or sexy. Plain and simple. Have you ever seen a Nike female on the front lines of marketing that wasn't HOT?! So much for diversity...but I'm not complaining.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:41 PM  

  • if that's true about admins traveling to check out potential meeting venues, I'm sick... and its probably true. the other thing that grinds me is the so called "team building" and all the "offsites" to do "strategic thinking." for the life of me, I don't understand why getting drunk in exotic places adds to shareholder value. nike has one of the world's most beautiful workplaces, but we have to spend ridiculous amounts of money on meetings all over the globe. whatever. I'd rather have the PSP. maybe that's why perez didn't fit in.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:57 AM  

  • Atta Boy! Way to call 'em on it.

    Don't give yourself away, Mr. Swoosh Blogger. You have plenty of work left to do.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:18 AM  

  • None of the admins in my department fit your description, SwooshBlogger. If anything, the admins are trying to keep expenditures to a minimum. And, while we're on the subject, none of the admins around here, male or female, would give you the time of day because you repeatedly bash women in your blogs and seem to be obsessed with all things Swoosh -- you spend all of your evenings blogging...about work!!!! Get a life dude!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:27 AM  

  • Never heard of an admin SPEARHEADING the "team building" and "offsites. Can you say supporting the manager's request?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:52 AM  

  • I know admins in the highest levels, and they do none of the stuff this person is talking about. Also there are male admins in footwear and that is just the ones I know of.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:55 AM  

  • Listen you horribly angry employee, NONE of the admins in my department or side of campus fit your description. All admins over here are constantly running checks & balances against what's requested of them since all that are supported by them are constantly requesting such "exoctic" places to have the many "brain storming offsites". It's not the admins who are heading up these Nike spending sprees...remember, everything has to be approved by someone above an admin, so why don't you think about that before ranting like an idiot about "oh poor me, I'm never appreciated!!?!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:07 AM  

  • Hey, think I'd still have a job if I spent $$ from my manager's budget in a manner that was not agreed upon/approved by my manager. Can't believe you think admin expenses are the greatest financial expense to the company. Don't mess with the bull, man. Have you seen 'Fight Club'? We're the people that take care of people like you and do the jobs you wouldn't stoop to.

    Bitchy Daughter

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:29 AM  

  • First let me say that I have met some male Admins and know that they exist.

    Second - Have you ever attended a Sample Sale or a Nike Event? Any event, any sale that you attend will have an Admin's (and sometimes multiple Admins) mark on it. Execs, VP, Directors, etc place a high level of accountability on the Admin's shoulders to make sure these events are everything and more - in short it is their JOB!

    Finally, by LAW - let me say that again BY LAW!!! The company must provide any Hourly Non-Exempt employee a lunch when they are required to work through a LUNCH HOUR. AGAIN THIS IS BY LAW. This means that the Admin's have no control over getting themselves lunch and be honest wouldn't you get what you wanted - or are you okay with gruel?

    Also, Admin's work within a budget for any event that they are throwing. You give me hard numbers against your claims or shut up. An Admin is one of the thrifties and craftiest employees in the game. Admins know how to make a $500 budget look like a $1000.

    Get off your Exempt, No Knowlege butt and come do the job. You want to know what it is like to be the whipping boy. Come try out an Admin's job.

    Only an arrogant Exempt level employee with no vision would make these types of comments. Go back and read your Maxims because you are obviously an ill-tempered malcontent. If you want to berate someon for doing their job - look in the mirror

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:36 AM  

  • Sounds like they could save money by paying you the same salary that admins make ann....if you are wasting time on this blogging...then most likley you are wasting Nike's money more than they are.

    By Blogger swooshlover, at 11:40 AM  

  • Don't feed the trolls...

    It's worse than eating spam.

    From Wikipedia:

    In Internet terminology, a troll is a person who posts rude or offensive messages on the Internet, such as in online discussion forums, to disrupt discussion or to upset its participants (see Anonymous Internet posting). "Troll" can also mean the message itself or be a verb meaning to post such messages. "Trolling" is also commonly used to describe the activity.

    Somebody's just out there trying to stir stuff up. Don't feed their ego.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:58 PM  

  • I am not sure what the exact motivation was behind your thoughts on Admins but I will just assume you have never actually spoken with one of us. So in the spirit of fairness and education, I’d like to address each one of your complaints:

    The site visit – Never been on one with Nike, only know of one admin who has and she is not fond of them. While I have never actually done a site visit with Nike I have for other companies and, while there may be a few perks like a couple nights stay in a room you don’t have to clean and a few nice meals you don’t have to cook, they are hardly leisure trips. They mostly consist of meetings to discuss the glamorous world of travel, menu and AV coordination.

    Sample Sales – I have worked quite a few of these and I have to say you are just being silly with this one. I mean seriously it costs about $200 to feed us (there are more like 10-15 Admins, these sales are huge) and we clear an average of $66,000/sample sale.

    Holiday/Birthday/Summer/whatever party on the company dime– Again, never experienced one of these nor do I know a single Admin who has. I do take my birthday off using my accrued PTO and my manager has, paid for out of his own pocket, given me gift certificates to various swanky restaurants. The closest thing I can think of to what you are describing is a monthly Admin lunch we hold on campus to discuss such sexy topics as Navigating Accuship and Asset Management. In two years I have been on two Admin teambuilders. Bother were located in exotic Beaverton – massages, pedicures and martinis were not part of the agenda.

    Female / Male Admin ratio – I do in fact know of several male Admins here at Nike but you are correct that they are few and far between. Again though, you are just being silly. There are 5M secretaries and administrative assistants in the US labor force and of them only 7% are male. No one is discriminating against men; they just simply do not apply for the position as often as women. Since you are so concerned, please feel free to apply.

    To your last point about how we have it made, you are right. I actually like my job and the company I work for. I love that I have a manager who appreciates me enough to acknowledge and compensate me for the pride and effort I put into doing my job well. I am sorry that you don’t and that you feel so underappreciated and undervalued both personally and professionally. But take heart in the fact that you are more than welcome to leave Nike at any time to find a position more suited to your frugal and sensitive temperament.

    I tell you what, instead of hiding all passive aggressively behind a blog, why don’t you ask HR to allow you to offer training courses on how to be a better Admin. We’d love to have you come to one of our luncheons and bestow upon us some of your thoughtful wisdom.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:19 PM  

  • This last post is the best of the bunch. When I think Swooshblog has posted something about as ignorant as possible, he reaches new lows. I remain amazed that this guy has a job at Nike.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6:59 PM  

  • Bullshit.

    1. All Amex bill's are reviewed on at least three levels. Heck, our VP reviews them. Admins have a tough time even getting the $$ to go to classes let along jet off on location. Travel has an event every year that brings all those hotel, restaurant, airlines, and even rental car folks to the campus.

    2. Sample events are organized by the admins on behalf of the category on authorization of the category uppers. They work without breaks most of the time so throwing them a bone by bringing in lunch isn't a perk. Hell, it's a sandwich not a T-bone.

    3. Admins are in a pay class that never raises above a certain level. They don't get stock options let alone a decent bonus.

    4. Admins are a fairly cheerful and really knowledgable bunch. They network like no bodies business and are a resource unlike no other.

    So far you've bashed women in general at Nike. Got a problem, don't cha?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:44 PM  

  • I'm not an admin, but I plan a lot of events, and it is absolutely unthinkable that you would hold a meeting off-site and not check out the venue, the food and/or any activities that the meeting group will engage in beforehand. To do so would be completely irresponsible. Hotels and meeting centers are good at setting up conferences because that's what they do, but you have no idea the amount of miscommunication that can happen, or the ways in which venues can try and pull something at the last second. Plus, the event planner has to anticipate attendees' needs as much as possible, and that's very difficult to do when you haven't even seen where the meeting is going to be held. It takes a lot of behind-the-scenes work to make putting on an event of any kind go so seamlessly.

    Now, if Nike also has a team of event planners working on the off-site (and I would think they would), then I would understand your complaining about admins also visiting the site. But the admin is still representing her boss, so that he doesn't come off looking like an ass when the event doesn't come off well.

    I know you said that all the admins you know are women, which is why you specifically called them 'girls', among other things. But if the admins were men, all doing the exact same thing, I bet you'd feel differently. In fact, if they were all men, you'd probably call them Marketing.

    By Anonymous sv, at 9:23 PM  

  • So, to sum up some of the things I now know about Nike:

    Nike hires people like Swooshblogger--a guy I thought might actually might share some valuable insight, but who can't seem to leave his immaturity in the dirty sock in his bedroom.

    Nike hires young, good-looking women for low-level positions, and per the executive biographies, obviously has very few women at the executive level.

    Nike has lots of girls, but no women working. Or is that, the girls are hot and the women not? Hmmmmm. Maybe Nike just doesn't like to hire any women over 40.

    Come on, Nike. Hire some men and women based on their experience and abilities--not their looks--even if they are older.

    Come on, Swooshblogger. I hope you can be a better person. These are professional women--not girls--no matter their position within the company. Apologize for denigrating women and don't do it again.

    Get back to the business of blogging the Swoosh.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:08 PM  

  • Please, please, please understand that SwooshBlogger is just stating his opinion. Read the comments left by others. Nike hires everybody. Short, thin, fat, old, young, and all the colors of the rainbow. The under-skilled is the only category that is passed up.

    And I know lots of folks who started out working the desk at the Lance who have worked there way up the chain.

    Sheesh. Nike isn't perfect but this guy is off his rocker.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6:39 PM  

  • Hey Anon, I just call it like it is. Not all the females at Nike are professional women...many are girls.

    So what kind of valuable insight do you want to see?

    By Blogger swooshblog, at 9:39 PM  

  • There are very very few old or fat staff at Nike ...are you kidding?? It doesn't fit the image! I have actually had HR complain to me about having an elderly woman filling in as a temp at reception as well as an overweight person.

    Best part is HR Also regarding female managers, directors etc. again, very few relative to the number or men in these positions.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:14 AM  

  • If you can't produce hard facts then all you are doing is spewing out hate. I'll start. On my floor in Mia Hamm there are eight admins. Three are under forty, five over forty, and four are what I would consider physically fit enough to kick your butt, two can chase you around the lake, and bring you within smacking range of the other two.

    What is your age criteria for "girls"? Someone younger than you?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:26 AM  

  • Hey swooshblog, in response to your posting asking "So what kind of valuable insight do you want to see?" how about we start with your name? If you honestly believe in and stand by all of your statements, then you shouldn’t be afraid to step out of the shadow of the blog.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:03 AM  

  • Why does it matter who Swoosh Blogger is? And why is everyone so angry? For those of you who work at Nike, and know what's what, why get all worked up? Why not take from Swoosh what you know to be true and ignore what isn't. No 2 people in this company will share the exact same opinion so why try to oppress each other? Its an opinion people - that means some will agree and some will not agree. Sure there is some pretty outrageous stuff on this site, but there is certainly food for thought...some true, some just slightly true and some that is wayyyyyy off base...this is a forum that allows you to set the record straight - use it to do just that - sheeeesh!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:40 AM  

  • Valuable insight on Nike:

    Please tell us more about:

    -how to score an interview
    -interview process itself
    -mix of employees
    -work arrangements (cubes, offices, bullpen)
    -bonus structure
    -employee and company volunteerism
    -ability to move within the company (lateral, upward, downward)
    -employee annual review process


    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:16 PM  

  • Dude, when I worked at Nike, the Admins, were the unsung heros at Nike. They do all the work and their bosses get all the credit.

    Love the blog, just not the crappy swipe at those who actually do all the work at the executive level. If anything Nike abuses Executive Admins. Most of them are over-educated, under-paid and never get above a "a-band" (aka no bonuses).

    Take your punches to those who actually abuse the system, the exectives and those who fall in line to the "cult of nike".


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